How much I'm really eating...

Woke up and weight 144.5, same as yesterday.  I guess that's not too bad given that I haven't taken a dump since Sunday or Monday (TMI, I know).  Thing is, this morning I felt like it should have been less.  I didn't feel "heavy".  But it made me start thinking about what I really ate yesterday, calorie-wise and I didn't find anything that makes me think my weight gain has been for any reason other than just eating too much.  Looking at the details shows kind of a different thing than looking at it in aggregate.

In aggregate - I eat veggies and protein at pretty much every meal.  I don't eat a whole lot of inherantly unhealthy food. 

In detail - I stuff food into my face pretty much constantly.  I don't often really feel hungry.  I've made a habit of getting a cooking in the post-lunch doldrums (and do some disordered eating of it).  I don't drink nearly enough water (gonna go get some right now, now that I think about it).  I regularly eat 5 meals a day so if each of those has a 100 calories more than I "count", I'm over by quite a bit, even if those 100 calories come from whole, unprocessed food. 

So today I decided to write down everything I eat.  Nothing fancy like an iPhone app, just pen and paper.  The results so far (its just after lunch) are enlightening if not surprising.

M1:  Berry smoothie
S1:  Turkey, brown rice and peanut butter while making my lunch ("I'm in the fridge anyway")  (150 calories)
S2:  Last Rolo in Cynthia's candy jar (30 calories)
S3:  Chips and Edamame on my way to cafeteria (100 calories)
M2:  Strawberry, granola, yogurt parfait
S4:  Chips and edamame on way to get lunch out of fridge (100 calories)
M3:  Turkey and vegetables, apple

So I can see that it isn't even so much that I'm eating big helpings of bad stuff.  It's that I'm eating so many calories-worth so mindlessly, without even thinking about how they add up.  380 so far today, without any need to or enjoyment from doing so.  Just stinkin' habit. 

On sort of a similar note, there was a Precision Nutrition blog post that struck a chord with me today.  It was about decluttering your mind to pay attention to only what is really important.  Don't get distracted by every thing your read or hear.  Filter it before deciding whether its relevant and important. 

I think I got away from that a little bit relative to my eating habits.  I think, in fact, that Precision Nutrition was a contributor to the clutter.  I was looking for something other than "you're eating too much" to be the answer to my weight gain.  Adding that clutter seems to have only made things worse.  Advocating nut butters and flavored protein etc. etc. only added to my mental idea that there was something I could eat that would make me thin - when it's exactly the opposite (what you don't eat makes you thin) and that if I eat too much but eat all the macro-nutrients at the right time I'll somehow end up thin also. 

So, I'm going to go back to the basic basics.  Got rid of the nut butters from the fridge.  Will not fool myself that some "anytime" concoction that has lots of calories (but the right macronutrient distribution) is somehow a better snack for me than a piece of fruit or a hard boiled egg.

And we'll go from there.

Hanging tough

Kicking ass apparently doesn't always show up on the scale.  Yesterday I did everything right.  Ran two miles, worked out hard with Josue, ate clean, drank water and went to bed early.  Despite all that the scale said 144.5 this morning. 

Taking a lesson from the "what should you do when the scale isn't what you want" book, I got up this morning and went to swing class then ran 3 miles at Axis before going to work.  We did a load of squats at class so running didn't feel all that good but I got it done.  My thinking at the time was that I'd run around the block this evening for a good double.

Ended up taking a chunk of the afternoon off just to burn the vacation.  Then did another kettlebell workout in the living room while I watched the Tivo of Nadal in the French Open.  45 minutes (or so) of 1:1 work to rest.  Some 15 second sets, some 30 second sets and some 1 minute long sets.  What I did prove is that I'm not in shape for swinging the 24kg - my grip didn't like even doing the 10 sets of 10 swings.  That should be relatively easy to work through.  Just need to do it.

This would be a good one to do with Rhonda if I can convince her that 40 minutes of swings is a good workout:

• 20 sets of :15/:15 with 12kg for warmup (2hd, tr, 1sw/1tr/2sw/tr, 5R/5L, 10R, 10L)
• 10 sets of :15/:15 with 24kg
• 5 sets of :30/:30 with 12 kg done 2hd swing + :15 of added on progression
• 10 sets of :15/:15 with 16kg (felt good on this)
• 5 sets of :30/:30 done :15 progression + 2 hd swing
• 3 x :60/:60 roundabouts with 12kg
• 2 x :60/:60 snatch/transfer
• 2 x :60:60 roundabout with 16kg

What I deserve now is a glass of wine...

Good news, finally

Well it isn't really good news but it isn't bad news.  This morning I weighed 143.0.  Admittedly it isn't where I want to be but it is the best I've seen in a couple of week.  And it's headed in the right direction.

Yesterday I focused on making sure I wasn't taking in too many "forgotten" calories.  I still did some not so smart eating (spoonfuls of nut butter, hard candy at manicure, etc.) but I was at least aware of it and I tried not to do too much of it. 

A few more ridiculisms became apparent as well:

• What you eat at the Farmer's Market doesn't count
• If you spoon the nut butter of the edges of the jar rather than the middle, it doesn't count

Funny how when you eat better and keep yourself hydrated, your body is better fueled and feels more energetic.  Had some good workout time yesterday.  A 3 mile run (with Clancy) in the morning, 45 minutes of backyard 'bells (450 calories), 3 miles on the treadmill at Oracle and then 20x50m on the minute in the Oracle pool. 

This morning was workout with Josue, which went really well.  I just kept cranking away at what he asked me to do.  I was wearing my HRM but it shut off at 17 minutes.  Up to that point I had burned 144 calories and that was the easy part of the workout.  So I'm guessing I was at about 450 for that workout as well. 

I'm hoping to get a run in later today (either treadmill or with Clancy, depends on the weather) but we'll see how that goes.

Kicking ass feels good!

Awareness - revisited

It's funny how once you become aware of something, it can slap you in the face so hard that you wonder why you didn't notice it before.  It was sort of that way for me yesterday.  After my mid-workout epiphany about eating too much, I was became aware of all the calories I was eating that I wasn't really "counting". 

• Several hundred calories of cookies and bread at Whole  Foods
• Substantial amount of nut butter straight from fridge to spoon
• Calorie rich veggies like beets, sweet potatoes, etc. - sure  they are veggies - but they've got calories!
• Bites here and there while waiting on other things to cook
• Milk in my coffee and coffee-like beverages

I doubt anyone would look at what I ate yesterday (except maybe the Whole Foods stuff) and say I have a terrible diet.  Even I wouldn't go that far.  But I would bet that I eat enough stuff that I'm not counting to add up to the weight gain I've seen over the past 6 months (about 6-8 pounds).  If you think about it, gaining a pound a month only requires eating an extra 100 calories a day.  Certainly possible given the list above.  If you think about it, NONE of the stuff above was in my diet when I was running lean, immediately following my first purification. 

I think that's a meaningful correlation.  Meaningful enough to do something about. 

On the other hand, it also seems that once you think you've put your finger on why you've gained weight, your weight goes down.  Maybe not fat loss but just enough scale-based weight loss for Mother Nature (or whoever runs this stuff) to remind you who is boss.

Today's Measurements:


Weight = 143.5
Chest = 37"
Waist = 29" (relaxed)  (-1 inch)
Hips = 37" (-1 inch)
Thigh = 22.0"
Love handles = 34"

Some of the variation in the measurements from last time could be due to my taking them immediately when I got up - before eating or drinking anything.  But the weight, while the same as 3 weeks ago, is lower than I've seen during those three weeks. 

Probably just luck - but I'm (re)fired up to make it a trend.  Hope the motivation lasts.

Taking responsibility

This morning, as I was in the middle of a god-awful, ass-kicking Max VO2 workout, the thought crossed my mind that the reason my weight is going up rather than down is because I'm eating too much.  Rocket science, right?  Maybe, maybe not.  It's been my theory for a while that I've been gaining weight either because I've got hormonal issues I'm fighting (the "M" word) or because I'm not eating enough.  If one were to read a whole bunch of stuff on the web, specifically Precision Nutrition, you might feel justified in concluding that weight gain is because you aren't eating enough.  But what if I'm not really being honest with myself about (or accurate in computing) how much I'm eating?  Certainly an interesting thought - especially when I realize I haven't felt "hungry" in quite a while.

So, for the next couple of weeks, I'm going to take a slightly different approach to things.  Rather than eating all I can of things that are "compliant", I'm going to try to keep the calories under control.  Then we'll see what happens. 

But as for ass-kicking, this morning was that and more.

Max VO2 at :45/:15.  So snatch Right, swing, then Snatch Left.  Basically your basic max VO2 with a swing class embedded in the middle instead of rest.  It was a challenge, to say the list.  But I got it done and felt pretty good about it.  HRM said 30 minutes of average heartrate = 150, peak = 176 and minimum = 135. 

Then a swing class where we also did :45/:15.  Lots of work.  Not much rest.  Average heartrate of 130 for about 40 minutes.

Then a 4.5 mile run on the treadmill at Axis.

That, is kicking ass.

Update (5:15pm) - as part of running my errands and getting a (really, really good) massage, I went to Whole Foods to pick up a few things.  While there I had some samples of bread and cookies, probably 300 calories or maybe more.  It was easy to get that many quickly, without really thinking about it or realizing it.  Time to take responsibility for that.  There it is, my afternoon snack.

Catch up (and a day off)

Friday afternoon and time to catch up on the week. 

Summary of week:  I'm back.  I still have a residual sniffle and a bug of phlegm but overall I feel much better.  Most importantly, my energy level is back close to normal, whatever that is at this point. 

On Tuesday evening I did an extra swing workout (45 minutes) just because after my run, I got going while watching "One Nation Overweight" on TV.  On Wednesday morning I did a run and then did another swing workout (40 minutes).  It just felt good to get in a groove and swing the 12kg and 16kg over and over.  At the end, I quit because I thought I should, not because I really wanted to or needed to.  Last night I had a good workout with Josue.  I was sweating like a pig and suspect that I burned a bunch of calories but I didn't have my HRM on. 

Today I am taking an intentional day off.  Sometimes I end up taking a day off because the day just runs out before I get any exercise in.  But even as early as last night I was thinking that it would be good to take a proactive day off.  I think I've done some sort of workout (in addition to running) every day this month.  Hopefully the day off will help me have a good workout tomorrow rather than making me stiff (the squats I've been doing on Friday evenings seem to have been helping but I don't really have anything to compare to).  I think tonight's even going to be a wine drinking evening.  Not much, but a little something to relax and get out of the routine.

Still no good movement on my weight.  I've been in the 144-145 range all week.  My eating has been clean with the exception of chips at work.  Axis is going to be doing a weight loss challenge through the summer so I'll get some Josue help on the weight loss front.  I think maybe this weekend I'll do a bit of research on "metabolism repair" to understand what that would mean.  Something just isn't right given what I'm eating vs. what I'm burning.  Either my metabolism is messed up or my hormones are totally changed in a not good way.   We'll see.

Anyway, hoping I'm kicking ass tomorrow morning.  Not planning to do so this evening.

World's best personal trainer?

With all due respect to Josue and Tracy, both of whom have been awesome trainers for me, I have to say that Clancy is the hands-down winner as best personal trainer for me.  Without even trying, with every workout she reminds me of some very important things.

• 
  
  When the opportunity presents itself, go for a run.  Don't worry about whether today is supposed to be a rest day or you need 6 more miles to get to a weekly total of 30 or whether you've eaten right today.  If someone is willing to take you, go - with enthusiasm.
• 
  
  Stretch before running.  The attached picture is Clancy's immediate (and always) reaction to me getting my running clothes on.  She also drinks water immediately following each run - walks in the back door and slurps up a bunch of water. 

• Feel the joy. Clancy doesn't think about each run as "exercise", "workout", "calorie burn" or anything other than just "play". She sees it as an opportunity to get out, breathe some fresh air, stretch some muscles and spend time with me. I'd venture to say that she never feels like she "has to" go running but rather she "gets to" go out and play.
• It's better to poop in someone else's yard. Even if Meg has to then pick it up.
• When you're done, relax.  You deserve it.

And after all, she is my (very) "personal" trainer.